Friday, August 5, 2011

I'm Positive..Maybe

Negativity is all around..It is coming at us from every direction. Bad things are happening. Extraordinarily bad things are happening.
Really?
Faced with all this input of dire predictions and bad news, I see two options:
A. Run around waving my hands over my head, shrieking in panic
B. Finding some logical way to cope with what may or may not be real.

As humans, we have one huge thing working against us..our brains, our imaginative brains, where we can conjure up huge anxieties, misunderstandings, dire anticipations and all sorts of creepy crawly scary scenarios.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Is this some cruel joke of nature to give us this brain which can create works of art and brilliance as well as anger and misunderstanding?  OK..relax, I'm not going all philosophical.

I do think though, that we should give ourselves a break and try to calm down and realize that most of the information we get, we filter through our less than perfect brain and it never occurs to us that we can chose to see good as well as bad. Admittedly, being scared gives an adrenalin rush, but being happy and positive gives  a much better endorphine party.

The weather is hot...crops and animals are dying and people are really suffering. This is a truth. But it is also a fact of life on this planet that can be dealt with and overcome. It is not a signal of the end of the world...it probably is a signal of global warming...also something that can be dealt with. It is difficult and uncomfortable and economically troubling...but again, it is survivable and can or might just end up in the long run, being a benefit if we chose to learn from it and cope.

Look at your dog, cat, goat, whatever. He lives in the moment. He doesn't torture himself with "what ifs". His only anxiety surfaces when he realizes he is on his way to the vet's office and that even disappears if another dog is there. Animals don't get up in the morning and say,"oh gosh, I hope I don't have a stroke and die today", or "It looks like it's going to rain today and my hair will be ruined and all that money I spent on a great haircut will be wasted and everyone will look at me and laugh at me and think I am ugly and then I won't get the job I need and I will STARVE AND DIE and no one will care or come to my funeral and my greedy relative will steal the inheritance that I wanted to save for my son, if I ever got married, which I never will because I'm ugly and no guy will ever want to marry me".

See what I mean here?

The world and life have always been tough. Really tough. There are no guarantees of happiness, wealth, success, long life, steady job, a roof over your head, the love of your life, fair weather everyday. Life isn't fair to anyone. It is full of crazies, war, nasty relatives, unfaithful friends and lovers, rain, wind snow, accidents and generally things that are nonsensical and unreasonable.

So experts tell us to destress and give all manner of destressing suggestions..few of which really work well if you are stressed, but instead intensify the stress because you feel guilty that you are unable to destress.  Instead, next time you find yourself holding your breath while watching FOX or any nightly news, or hear someone telling you the latest horrible news over your first cup of coffee, take a deep breath and ask yourself - is what you are hearing REAL or is it entertainment, is it something that you can do anything about or change in any way? If not, let it go. Just let it go. Then go and do something positive for someone or something else. Give your dog a pat, or a treat. Call your mom and listen patiently while she tells you it is the end of the world and then comfort her. Bake some cookies to take to work and just hand out for the heck of it. Do something creative...doodle, sing, cook. Extend yourself out into the world instead of retreating from the scary stuff. This doesn't require any bravery, just calmness when everyone else is panicking. 


Pretty soon you'll find out that all the scary stuff really is quite manageable. That being focused and calm gives you an incredible amount of strength and resilience to cope with all the gritty things in life.

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